sniff
After a steady run along the East River in the brisk autumn morning weather or after wrapping up a couple games of pick-up basketball, I occasionally get a runny nose. It’s not like I have snot dripping from my face or a booger threatening to leap onto my shirt collar. But the exercise and cooler air definitely loosens my congestion and so I occasionally start sniffing after outdoor physical activity. This is typically followed by popping into a hot shower, running my nose through a Kleenex after I’m dried off and ahh… clear and easy breathing again.
Running low on hydration after the last time I played basketball, I jogged on over to the closest grocery store to stock up on Vitamin Waters and Powerade. Figuring it was a convenient time to pick up various other groceries I made my way methodically through the aisles, until I found myself eyeing the meats in the refrigerated section at the rear of the store. Meanwhile, I’m sniff sniffing away since I just ran several blocks.
As I’m walking away I hear a woman’s voice grumble under her breath, “Better not be sniffing around me again.”
For an instant I flashback to 7th grade Geometry Honors class and vividly recall the day my math teacher gives me the evil eye during an exam after I had sniffed a few times. She proceeded to loudly walk up to my desk, drop a box of tissues in front of my face and told me to blow. I was sitting in the front row. I was not fond of this lady, but my feelings were nothing compared to the wrath this lady clearly harbored against my runny nose. I think she would have socked me in the nose if she legally could, the way her eyeballs bulged out of her sockets when I simply began sniffing again minutes after using the tissues she offered.
The lady by the meat section in the grocery store continued her grumbling as I took a few steps away. My eyebrows furrowed and I did a 180 and walked back to where I was standing.
“Do you have a problem? With my sniffing?” My tone is loud. Blunt.
The lady’s eyes widen and her head slowly looks in my direction.
“Yeah. Yeah I have a problem with you sniffing right next to me!”
We exchange a couple more remarks, don’t exactly remember what was said, but I remember walking away amazed that my geometry teacher was not the only person of this world whom could be driven mad by a few sniffles.
Being the small supermarket that it is, I again crossed paths with her a few minutes later. A corner aisle away, I heard her yapping away about my sniff to someone (whom I later found out to be her teenage daughter). That’s when I started to make out some the words.
“…that’s a racist sniff. That’s a racist sniff if I’ve ever heard one…”
“…how’s he gonna do that right in front of me? stupid…”
I may have neglected to mention that this woman was black.
So the gears finally clicked in my head and I understood what the issue was. But I was still irked at the way she was still going off about it, acting like a raging bitch. I rounded the corner and incredulously asked her if she seriously believed I was being racist by sniffing at her presence. Back and forth we went until I made it pretty clear I didn’t even know she was standing next to me and obviously oblivious to her race at the time. Her daughter started pleading to her mom to stop, in a roll-the-eyes exasperated kind of way. Perhaps this was one of many outbursts she’s had to deal with, or maybe she knew it was highly doubtful I was trying to insult her mom.
“OK. There. You explained the situation. I take it back. Let it go,” the lady finally snapped.
Hmm, I can live with that, I thought and walked away.
Up until that point I had absolutely no idea a sniff could be interpreted even remotely as a racist act. It intrigued me to no end as I later left the grocery store. Is a sniff a modified version of a scowl, or a snort? A displeased grunt? Or do sniffs set off some form of body odor insecurity?
And then there’s the stereotype that Koreans and African-Americans don’t get along. Maybe she wouldn’t have reacted the same way if I was a ginger? Whatever the case may be, I don’t intend on sniffing any less than I do now, but if any dark-skinned individuals give me a look after I do, now I’ll at least know why.
